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Arizona Closes Northern Border to Canada
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Written by Dawkus
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Thursday, 15 June 2006
 Arizona militia men and their patriotic following aren't about to stop with closing the southern border to Mexico. They are also closing their northern border to keep Canadians out.
Sly 'Wildcat' Sneedly, member of the the civilian border patrol known as the Minutemen, had this to say as he and his friends began the ground breaking ceremony. "We ain't about to let something like Gee-aw-gruffy get in our way to keep this country free. We had enough of them Canucks and their, uh, maple syrup!"
President Bush is sending 6,000 Utah National Guardsmen to help patrol and build fences along the Mexican border. There is no word yet on how many troops he will be sending to the northern border.
Tony Snow, the current White House Press Secretary, did have this to say about the situation. "Canada has been for the most part a good northern neighbor, but this taking of American jobs has to stop. We have seen the likes of William Shatner, Leslie Nielsen, Matthew Perry, and Alex Trebek make their way to Hollywood and snatch entertainment jobs from honest Americans. How many decent, hardworking actors and game show hosts go hungry tonight because of Canada?"
Not only are the Minutemen closing the border to Canada, they are also going to be boycotting traditional Canadian products as well.
"Yup, we is going to boycott syrup, snow, cheaper prescription drugs, the Toronto Bluejays, pot, and the McKenzie Brothers from SCTV," boasts Sly.
The only response from Canada's Prime Minister was, "Eh? What are they talking aboot? Maybe we should close OUR border and boycott rattlesnakes and the desert? That would show them, eh?" |
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